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Which Cyberpunk Keanu Reeves Protagonist Will You Be in the Future? Which Cyberpunk Keanu Reeves Protagonist Will You Be in the Future?

If there’s anything I’ve learned from futuristic movies, it’s that, at some point, each and every one of us will become Keanu Reeves.

Catfish Fetishists: The Men Who Get Off on Getting Scammed Online Catfish Fetishists: The Men Who Get Off on Getting Scammed Online

It’s Thursday night and Eddie is looking for action. He scrolls through Twitter hoping to find the woman of his dreams. Finally, he finds her, or someone who looks a lot like her: A woman going by the name “Katfish Princess” who describes herself as “hot, greedy and completely fake.”

Reddit Magicians Are Fiercely Debating How to Summon a 'Big Tittie' Demon Reddit Magicians Are Fiercely Debating How to Summon a 'Big Tittie' Demon

Some are drawn to the dark mystic arts in a search for ultimate knowledge. Others, out of desire to impose their will on the world. Some folks, however, are just trying to get laid.

A Coconut Water Brand Is Offering Free Piss on Twitter Because This Is the Future A Coconut Water Brand Is Offering Free Piss on Twitter Because This Is the Future

When they looked to the future, some in the 20th century imagined wondrous technological advancements. Others foresaw a world of global totalitarian control. The future we ended up with, however, has had a little bit of both—plus a beverage company offering to send a hater some human urine on social media.

Disney's New Release Schedule Has Me Thinking a Lot About Mortality Disney's New Release Schedule Has Me Thinking a Lot About Mortality

On Tuesday, Disney updated its list of scheduled movie releases, providing tantalizing new details for fans of Earth’s preeminent sequel-making omnicorp—and forcing me to think farther into the future than I ever have before.

You Know How This All Ends, Don't You? You Know How This All Ends, Don't You?

Brands—they’re just like us, only thirstier. Just last night, Pornhub sent out a press release claiming it was “extremely interested” in buying Tumblr, the distressed blogging platform Verizon is reportedly looking to unload.

'Broken Jaw, Split Lip, Broken Teeth': E-Scooter Accidents Can Seriously Fuck You Up 'Broken Jaw, Split Lip, Broken Teeth': E-Scooter Accidents Can Seriously Fuck You Up

Look around, and you’ll find no shortage of stories about the rise of injuries linked to rentable e-scooters. But until you’ve read firsthand accounts of shattered arms and metal plates in faces, it’s hard to comprehend just how completely these little scooties can wreck your shit.

What Your Airline Won't Tell You About Those Creepy Airport Face Scanners What Your Airline Won't Tell You About Those Creepy Airport Face Scanners

Last week, a Twitter conversation between an airline passenger and JetBlue went viral after she asked about the company’s creepy facial recognition cameras. Mostly, the passenger seemed shocked to learn airlines were scanning customers’ faces at all.

Guess Who's Moving Into the Chewable Bar Space in a More Disruptive Way Guess Who's Moving Into the Chewable Bar Space in a More Disruptive Way

Today, the CEO of a Silicon Valley-spawned startup told TechCrunch that his company was “moving into the chewable bar space in a more disruptive way.” That is, they’re making snack bars.

Look at All These Fucked Up Galaxy Folds [Updated]

Just days after Samsung gave its $2,000 foldable smartphone to reviewers, a troubling number of journalists say their Galaxy Fold units are all jacked up.

The Latest Facebook News Feed Rumor Is So Dumb I Pray It's True The Latest Facebook News Feed Rumor Is So Dumb I Pray It's True

Compared to other apps, Facebook can seem downright antiquated. One blogger described it recently as “a dopey website that sucks to use and look at.” Facebook seems to be aware of this problem, and is now reportedly testing an interface tweak that’s so aggressively dumb I sincerely hope they go for it.

5 Times Jeff Bezos Tried to Warn Us Amazon Is Listening 5 Times Jeff Bezos Tried to Warn Us Amazon Is Listening

Last night, Bloomberg published an alarming report about the “thousands” of Amazon workers paid to listen to Alexa recordings captured in customers’ homes and offices. But users of the company’s digital assistant shouldn’t be too shocked. After all, CEO Jeff Bezos has been trying to tell us for years.

I Can't Believe This Dopey, Busted-Ass Website Is What Messed Up Our Lives I Can't Believe This Dopey, Busted-Ass Website Is What Messed Up Our Lives

Like many people, I don’t use Facebook a lot these days, but when I idly visited the world’s largest digital nation-state this afternoon, I had an odd realization: Wow, it looks like ass.

Russian Military Journal Claims Psychic Soldiers Can Crash Computers and Control Dolphins Russian Military Journal Claims Psychic Soldiers Can Crash Computers and Control Dolphins

A journal published by Russia’s Ministry of Defense became the subject of mockery this week after publishing claims that “Russian specialists” have communicated with dolphins, crashed computer programs, and even looked into safes using the power of telepathy.

The World's Biggest Bee Just Buzzed Into My Heart The World's Biggest Bee Just Buzzed Into My Heart

I don’t remember when or where I was first stung by a bee. What I remember is the pain.

This Tiny, Beautiful Monkey Has Been Stolen and Needs Her Medicine [Update: She's Back] This Tiny, Beautiful Monkey Has Been Stolen and Needs Her Medicine [Update: She's Back]

Update 2/13/2019 9:09 a.m. ET: Early Wednesday morning, West Palm Beach Police tweeted that “Kali is home!” WPBF reports that detectives returned her to zoo officials late last night, but have not said where she was found. Our original story follows.

How TV Pirates Accidentally Pushed a 25-Year-Old Indie Song to the Top of the Charts in Japan How TV Pirates Accidentally Pushed a 25-Year-Old Indie Song to the Top of the Charts in Japan

Last week, an alt-rock mystery puzzled the music press. Almost 25 years after its release, the Dinosaur Jr. song “Over Your Shoulder” appeared at number 18 on Japan’s Hot 100 chart, beating out major new releases like Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings.”

1 in 20 Internet Users Say It Has Caused Them 'Unbearable' Pain 1 in 20 Internet Users Say It Has Caused Them 'Unbearable' Pain

If you’ve experienced terrible pain after negative experiences online, you’re not alone. New research from Microsoft suggests that such agony is widespread, with over a third of global internet users reporting “moderate or severe pain” from online experiences, including 5 percent of survey respondents who said they…

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